Unfortunately violence is confined to just marriages or families. Violence is also found in dating situations. There is an emphasis on being popular among ones peers and sometimes violence is a part of this peer pressure. It could be verbal or physical force on either the male or female’s part and it is especially a problem with teenagers. Studies have shown that although the male will initiate the action almost seventy percent of the time, both sexes are just as vulnerable starting and receiving attack.
The sad part of this scenario is that many high school and college students have admitted to being in a violent relationship. Some of this problem actually goes as far back as eighth and ninth grade and has included sexual violence. Studies have also shown that once the violence starts, it will happen again, usually occurs in a steady relationship, and the abuser will ultimately continue the practice of abusing his or her mate in their marriage.
Abuse falls under two categories: emotional abuse and physical abuse. Emotional abuse is the most damaging type of abuse and also the hardest to identify. The victims will feel intimidated, hopeless, guilty, frustrated, helpless, trapped, and always wrong. If they can see the warning signs, they can recognize and identify what is going on. Unfortunately, many of these signs doe not become apparent until the victim has been abused for quite awhile. So, how do the victims wind up like this? Easy. The partner engages in a pattern of behaviour that is controlling, criticizing, intimidating, blaming the victim for all the problems in their life, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, criticism of important people in the victim’s life, putting the victim down, and humiliation and blackmail. Verbal abuse – the name-calling, threats, and belittling of one partner to another – is also a form of emotional abuse.
Physical abuse, which may or may not go hand in hand with emotional abuse, follows the same pattern as domestic violence, where the abuser physically forces the victim to comply to their wishes. This almost always includes hitting, slapping, punching, or other forms of physical assault that harms the victim. Sexual abuse is part of physical abuse and domestic violence in that the abuser forces or pressures the victim into sexual acts that they do not wish to participate in. Granted the pressure could also be emotional, but in cases of date rape, assault is almost always part of the equation.
Victims need to get out of the relationship as soon as they recognize the signs of abuse. While this is not always easy, gaining control of their lives and sticking up for themselves causes the abuser to lose power over the victim. There are plenty of groups, women’s shelters, and other organizations available to help someone in this situation and they should be utilized as fully as possible.
If the abuse should happen to be between younger couples, such as teenagers, it should be reported to the authorities as soon as possible. Counselling should be initiated in order to assure that the young person does not fall into the future role of abuser or victim as they get older. With so many people falling to the pressure of their peers, this is something that must be taken seriously.